The Orange Phoenix | 19 Observations 
When we last left our heroine, she was contemplating whether to go on the date with the bicycle passerby.
Dating Note # 1: NEVER LET A COMPLETE STRANGER MEET YOU AT YOUR HOUSE. IF THEY TURN INTO A STALKER, THEN YOU’RE FUCKED.
Me: Uh, not my house, why don’t we meet here at the train station.
Man: You sure?
Me: Absolutely.
Okay, seems relatively harmless right? I finally get home and pass out on my bed wondering if the sun had finally baked my brain into pea soup. Why had I just accepted a date for TODAY with a total stranger? How do I get out of this? Well I didn’t, he actually called, and so I took a deep breath and went out to meet him to go to the beach.
Dating Note #2: DON’T GO TO A STRANGE MAN’S HOME UNLESS YOU ARE READY TO FIND OUT HOW CRAZY THEY REALLY ARE.
Apparently hindsight is 20/20 because I didn’t follow my own advice and the other great gems that I have received from people. . . Anyway, forging on. . . So we meet at the train station and he is completely drenched in sweat. His sky blue button down has become stony-gray with wetness and he still has that damn bicycle.
Man: Wow, you look great
Me: You okay? You’re drenched!
Man: Yeah I’m fine. I had to bike as hard as I could to the bank so I would be able to get back to you in time.
Me: Aw, aren’t you sweet. Umm, don’t you think you should get rid of the bike as you have been lugging the thing up and down stairs? It’s probably making your exhaustion worse.
Sidebar: In no way am I intending to go to his house, but I really felt bad for him, so I sort of dug my own grave.
So we go to his house so he could change clothes and drop off his bike. As we’re on our way, he keeps giving me landmarks of places to remember as if I’m ever going to visit again.
Man: So you see this beauty salon?
Me: Uh, yeah. . .
Man: When you see this, you know you are going in the right direction to my house, okay? I don’t ever want you to get lost coming to see me.
Me: uh. . . okay.
(we continue walking)
Man: Wow, you are just so great. Want me to buy you something?
Me: nah, dear, I’m cool.
Man: you sure?
So I’ve never been the gal guys “spoil”, so someone offering to buy me something, whether it be a shirt or a sandwich, leaves me quite suspicious - especially when I just met you - oh approximately 2 hours ago. . . So the ’spidey sense’ is tingling, but I press on.
We get to his apt, go upstairs and he opens the door - why his apartment a literal shrine to his child? Bright Happy Birthday banners streamed between rooms, pictures upon pictures taped to the walls, child-like drawings that only the love and remembrance of a mother would tape to the wall. It was cute, yet sort of creepy - rather dorm-like.
Man: So let me give you the grand tour. Here is the living room where I get my TV and work out on - see here is the punching bag. Here is my kitchen, where you are gonna cook me some dinner right?
Me: Uh. . .
Man: This way is my bathroom and come with me as I want to show you my bedroom. . .
OKAY - TIMEOUT! This is where I drew the line. The Phoenix doesn’t go into strange men’s bedrooms.
Me: Um - I’m cool! Why don’t you go get changed and we can go to the beach - ‘kay?
Okay, another crisis averted. So he finally gets dressed and he packs this huge lunch for us to take and off we go.
We walk back to the train station and once again he is trying to buy me something. So I have to tell him to keep his money in his pocket (who does that but me!?). Does anyone else associate the attempt to buy my affections here besides me?
Onward we go. . .
We take the long ride to the Rockaways by subway. If you’ve never been, picture a big honking subway of ten cars driving over a piece of land as wide as a toothpick and there is water on both sides of this toothpick, so if the wind gets too strong, you better know how to swim! (Not that I don’t have the utmost faith in our New York City transit system, but DAMN!) To take my mind off of my mortality and the hope that the train conductor is completely driving this subway, my lovely date starts to tell me about his issues, which end up more entertaining and alarming than the ride.
- He has a baby-mama
- Not so bad. . .
- His baby mama is crazy and won’t let him see his child and seems to be possibly abusing the child
- OY VEY!
- Why am I on this date - a bleeding heart isn’t what I need right now. . .
- He’s been married before
- Okay - not so bad, wonder how many other Samsonites he’s carrying?
- Which led to him going to jail and doing some time
Oh Shit, oh shit - ABANDON SHIP!!! - Too late! I’m already out here, so just keep your eyes open and make sure that he doesn’t get to comfy.
So we finally get off the train, and armed with all of this information, I’m not sure whether to run for the hills or put on a big plastic smile and bear it. So I choose option “B” and continued our little our little rendezvous.
And the plot thickens. . .
| 2.5 |
Tags: dating, Finding Love
Eeks! I can’t wait to see how this turned out.
EEEEEEEEEK! Boy, being old and dumpy is suddenly starting to feel like a good thing to me! Thank you!
sounds interesting urban. why he kept wanting to buy you something is of even more interest. i might have said just give me the money, i’ll buy my own stuff. lol.
funny. i was just listening to a comedian about women not wanting to enter the bedroom of a man and how they lean on the door post and do the lean in with their feet still in the hallway. lol. the comedian fixed that by loosening the door post. lol.
uh-oh. I was one of those ppl saying “go for it”. Damn! Why is everyone carrying so much damn baggage. That train ride out to Rockaway takes a skillion years. I can’t wait to find out what happens.
Girl, the moment he turns his back, RUN!!! And I hope you made note of all the landmarks to get you back to the train!
I know that everyone should get a second chance, but he’s got waaaayyyy to much going on all the way around.
I’d keep him as a friend, if you’re at all interested, just to get to see what’s going on in his life and how he handles it. But if you’re really not? Then just say “Sayonara”. Sounds like too much trouble to me….
WOW… That was an experience. I do my best not to go all the way to the Rockaways. I don’t know how anyone lives that far from the city. But who am I to talk?
Natural: This post is written by The Orange Phoenix (a very sexy female).
oh snap. okay i thought urban was just gay. lol. oh man i feel like a dummy. now i got it. rofl. i never look at the name up top, just know this is urban’s blog. funny. funny. funny. sorry. urban, i told you i thought you was a man, then i read female stories and i’m like well he’s a gae man in a female role. the light bulb went off. well if you read my blog you will see that i have brain damage. lol.
OMG, I just was so confused. Are you a guest blogger, sorry not being a reader from the beginning, I missed that memo or do you both share this blog. I got it now, I think I’ll go have a drink. I feel soooo relieved, the light bulb is on. Thanks for saying something. I will pay more attention to who writes what. Whew. I even emailed this blog to my friends to help me figure it out. Lol. Just brain damaged. I’m tickled to death. lollololololoo
Natural: You put a big smile on my face. I must say.
Just so we are on the same page: There are three of us on this blog. Urban Thought (Male), The Orange Phoenix (Female), Dan-Sean Mankind (Male).
Should I change my name? I kinda like Urban. I’ve been Urban most of my blogging life. Actually, I’ve been Urban for my entire blogging life. Should I change it to just ‘Thought’ or maybe the initials ‘UT’. Hmmm… Nah, I’ll stay with Urban, Urban Thought, and UT. It always depends on who I’m chatting with.
I am currently looking to find a way to have the names on the side or perhaps I should write more detail on the ‘About’ page.
ROFL!!! Hey, Natural, don’t feel bad….
When I first started reading this blog, I got confused too. On the first few posts I first thought, “okay, Urban is a dude”. Then there was a post about meeting some guy in the city and all that followed, and then I was like “okay, Urban is a GAY dude”. Then he posted in one of his comments about how he appreciated certain attributes of a sista, and then I was like “well, is he Bi?”.
Then Phoenix posted again, once again talking about men, and I actually read the top of the post with her name on it and figured it out! LOL! They are more than one and not the same!
Yeah, Urban, maybe you should put the 3 bios down the sidebar so some of us catch on a bit quicker!
Nicely done. I can almost see the characters. And, um, I think Ive sort of been in her situation.
I cant wait to see what happens next!
I first met Urban Thought when he commented on a Wordless Wednesday of mine, and I went to check out his blog. My first experience of a name difference was a poem by Orange Phoenix, so I figgered UT uses that very poetic pseudonym when he writes poetry. When I came across the “girl-meets-boy” stuff, I decided that Urban Thought, as all creative writers should, was trying a piece written through the eyes of someone he personally isn’t: in this case, a straight woman. And I thought, DAMN he’s good!
You’re still good. All three of you. But it’s nice to know for sure that you’re three different writers as opposed to three personae of one writer. Thanks for clearing that up.
I’m so freaking glad I am not alone. I never look at names and always assume a blog is authored by one person. I thought Urban was a dude, then I read a post about a girl and a Pepsi. I said okay, he’s How You Doin. (NY’ers should know who says that). After I got over that…I said no problem, still a good writer. Then I said he’s flip flopping. LOL. I just learned there was another dude writer on this blog yesterday. 3 in 1, a trinity. I got it. Well then great blog Lady and Gentlemen! Urban, you do take all the pictures right? Your pics are just fab! We’re all on the same page now.
u are a brave woman
or either good at reverse stalking lol
You guys are freakin hilarious!! Yes folks, I am a girl in the middle of this man sandwich.
I promise you I think my dating life was meant to entertain instead of finding the right one. Alas - wait till post 3 - it gets worse people. . .
Natural: Thank you for the compliments. Yes, all the photography is my own.
OP: DANG. Jail? Issues? Samsonite? On the one hand I give you thumbs up for taking a chance and being open. I mean, the guy actually sounded kinda sweet what the bike and all that and offering to get you stuff.
On the other hand…the guy doesn’t sound dangerous, just..whacky. I am not sure about all this trying to buy you something. Makes me think about that Greek myth - Persephone? She has to make a trip to the Underworld and is told NOT TO EAT anything but then the Lord of the Underworld offers her some food and she eats 3 pomagrante seeds and has to return to the underworld 3 months out of the year.
I have no idea why I went on this whacked tangent Ok I kinda do in that I think this man’s thought is that if you accept food or anything, now you’re a couple.
I look forward to the rest of the story!
UT: I’m glad I never got confused by the different writers. I only get confused if I don’t pay attention to the author line but then each of you have a different “voice” so usually I can tell int the reading.
When I first started reading your blog, I couldn’t tell your gender. I think if you read your first posts, it’s not clear at all. I had kinda assumed male and then thought - huh- that is some assumption with no clear reason so I had “Unknown” until you either mentioned it via a comment on another blog or here.
HEEE HEEE HEEE! I think the comments are hilarious. Natural, you made my day. The thought of Urban “coming out of the closet” has my ribs hurting from laughing.
OP, I don’t know about this guy. Not sure what he got in the big house for but that’s your tip off to how scary he could be. He could be a great guy but a little too intense.
[...] So to pick up where I left off – my dumb-ass decided to continue on this date against my better judgment. [...]