« Free Writing: Change
» Behind Bars: Finding Love in the Big City, Part XV

City Life, Observations, Thought, WTF

Homeless Workouts

05.10.08 | User ImageUrban Thought | 11 Observations

Focused, I was as I was walking to my connecting train. I felt a tap on my shoulder. Oh, it’s one of my colleagues from one of my many jobs. Any time I see her I know I’m late.

SHE: This is twice in a row I’ve seen you this week.
ME: I know. Go figure. And we are both late.

We finally make our way to the platform. There is some homeless/vagrant dude yapping away about something no one understands. Bobbing and weaving through the crowd. It’s hard to miss him.

SHE: Don’t you love commuting in NYC. It’s always something going on.
ME: Tell me about it.
SHE: Well, this is my train. See you tomorrow.
ME: Yeah, have a good one.

I’m making my way through the crowd on the platform to find a clear spot to call my own until the train comes. Who makes their way toward me but the homeless/vagrant guy.

Homeless Dude: Hey! What happen to your hand? Injured yourself.
ME: Something like that.
HD: I see you work out.

It’s a warm day. I have no jacket. My shirt isn’t tight on me at all. But it is hard to miss the fact that I work out.

ME: Yeah.
HD: Is that how you injured yourself?
ME: Yeah. Doing forearm curls.
HD: Yeah, I can see why you injured yourself. You have skinny forearms. You aught to be careful.

No shit I thought. That is why I was working on them. OK. Now I’m ready for the train to come. This seems like the longest wait I’ve ever experienced during rush hour.

HD: I see you work out on your chest. (as he points to my chest) You do those wide grip joints and the bench presses.
ME: Yeah, those “joints” are pretty standard for chest workouts.

Homeless/Vagrant dude steps closer to me. This time around he pocks me in my stomach. My abs aren’t where I want them to be but they are pretty much solid.

HD: Oh, you got abs.
ME: You need to back up. For real.
HD: Feel my abs.
ME: Back up.
HD: Just feel my abs. I don’t smell.

Homeless/Vagrant dude, althrough he didn’t smell, had missing teeth and clothes that were of the dirty kind. He looked homeless in every way possible.

ME: You need to back up.
HD: Just feel my abs. My stomach is tight.
ME: OK. You need to back up off me. Step back and keep it moving.
HD: Why?
ME: Because I asked you to.
HD: Good enough. Hope your wrist gets better. And work out hard. Summer’s approaching.

WTF? Can I not have issues with the homeless?

Rate this:
2.5
Sphere: Related Content

Tags:

11 Observations

share your thoughts

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. Subscribe to these comments.

Say what you feel. Don't hold back. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

:

:


« Free Writing: Change
» Behind Bars: Finding Love in the Big City, Part XV