Urban Thought | 11 Observations While sitting at my desk the other day, I received a phone call from a friend. They wanted to go out for drinks. Seeing as how my schedule would be busy for the remainder of the week, I thought that today was a good a time as any.
On arrival to the spot of choice, I noticed my friend was not there. I decided to order my beverage and take in the scene. The usual suspects were at the bar. My usual bartender was not but the ‘regulars’ were strategically placed within the bar area.
My friend finally arrived. They arrived twenty minutes late and pointed out that they thought I would arrive late as well. I had to tell them I didn’t want to hear any complaints so I made it my business to come on time. Even when you try to avoid sly comments from folks, they still find some way of making them.
My friend was hungry and asked if we could split some chicken fingers. “Sure, go ahead and order them. No sweat.”
After much conversing, laughs and two breaks to relieve oneself ,the bartender comes over to ask if we are done. I’m ready to depart and get some much needed work done. The bartender returns with the check and I grab it before he can put it on the table. I’m used to paying the bill so there is no point of me waiting for it to hit the table and for people to start looking around to see who will grab it first.
I get up to give the bartender my credit card. He returns with my receipt to sign. I tell my friend to give me some money for the gratuity.
Friend: How much?
Me: $6
Friend: $6? (he says in astonishment) That’s too much.
Me: OK. Well, how much do you have?
My friend pulls some cash out of the left pocket. One dollar bill and a flip to the next bill, turns into several bills, which adds up to around $8. As they’re going through the collection of bills I notice a couple of $20’s and a $50.
Some of you may be thinking I should get my eyes out of their pocket. Maybe they didn’t have enough to give but lets put this in perspective for a moment.
You ask me to go out for drinks. You suggest the chicken fingers and that we split it. I ask you to put some money in for a tip. You ask me how much. I tell you how much. You tell me it’s too much. Why did you ask me how much in the first place if you were going to be particular about the amount you were willing to offer? Secondly, $6 is a modest amount of money. $6 doesn’t amount to half of the total bill.
But I’m just saying… I think I’m done with my rant. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I’m not a cheap dude but don’t question my suggestion for the gratuity, if all you are putting in is the gratuity.
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Tags: friends, Restaurants, tipping
Good grief! I bet this guy doesn’t go on many second dates.
Friend A asked my partner and me out to supper for Friday night (last night). We rounded up Friend B, and spent three hours at a really nice place. When the tab came, three of us paid it and refused to let Friend A contribute. She was surprised — but it was her birthday.
What!! That is a crazy situation. I did think for a min. that you were going to stop with the dollar bill, and I was going to go off
Glad to know at least your friend did bring some cash.
I don’t blame you for the rant! I’m definitely getting more a picture of who you are and how similar we are (on the inside!) I have ended up paying the bill within a small group of people since I’ve been the one who could afford it and it’s about getting together and if I want a drink and to spend time with them, well, it’s worth it.
Part of me thinks that when it comes to people you love, you shouldn’t make them “pay” as in, “Say thank you, give me some gratitude” because then it’s not a gift. Like I always pay when taking my mom out. It should be a no big, right? It’s not like parents should make their children thank them for putting food on the table.
That’s some background on what goes on when I pay for things.
Now I have seen the type of cheapness you experienced. It does bother me. Usually when someone treats me and asks me for the tip, I give more tip than usual. Although part of me does dicker internally if I don’t think the service was worth it.
But really, so what? If you got drinks and a meal for tip, sheesh, give a big tip!
Plus why should you have to have this internal justification/dialog between yourself and your friend? It’s difficult but we do expect our friends and our families to Step Up, you know? Like - I expect more from you!
This type of thinking I’m still working on. Part of me wants people to Step Up and then another part of me is saying that asking someone to be someone other than who they are is lack of acceptance and criticism. I still haven’t let go of one incident where I ended up paying for someone I didn’t want to. It was my fault, though - I should have been assertive instead of just being annoyed at his incredible ability to avoid looking at the bill placed between us.
Ah, friends!
Wait, you paid for the entire bill and your friend couldn’t pitch in for a tip? How not cool.
I am usually the one that pays too, either the whole bill or too much, because someone is always short, or didn’t bring enough, or is just cheap…I don’t go there because that’s what I expect…
But this right here? If you ask me out and then start bitching about a $6 tip, we gon have some words…
Dang, dude is unclear on the concept. If he does have any girlfriends, I bet they don’t last long….hopefully he married his high school sweetheart.
I can’t stand cheapness either. In fact, don’t hang with me if you’re cheap, because I’m generous. If I have, you have. It’s like that.
And when dining or hanging at a bar or lounge, I usually tip around 20% unless the service sucks REALLY bad. Being asked to contribute the tip, whatever it is, after getting a meal/drinks for free is a gift horse, and you should never look it in the mouth! ….whatever the hell that means…. lol
But I’m feeling you on this one.
so NOT cool
Lavenderbay: You aren’t too far off from the truth. Birthday’s are one thing. I can appreciate a birthday outing and everyone chipping in to cover the special someone’s special day.
Televisiontraci: LOL… My friend sits with more money in his pocket then I would ever care to carry.
Ms. Q: Indeed, friends… I tell you one thing the next time I hear it I’m going to let him know how I feel about it.
Sharon: Yes. Cheap. Cheap. Cheap.
MarvalusOne: I hope you are going out with other females. As a male, I find myself making sure my female friends are covered at all time.
IW: Ha Ha Ha… Funny how that works. Dude showers them with gifts. But cannot help pay a tab when out with friends.
FD: We could hang. Cheap isn’t something I know too much about. Frugal I do know about. But when you’re going out to have a good time money is the least of worries.
Meleah: Tell me about it!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Fork over the 6 bucks for the tip and be thankful that someone picked up the bill. You didn’t have to do that. 6 is very modest even if unemployed.
I feel it’s the appropriate thing to do in any situation, especially when you’re not being held accountable for the entire bill. Given the fact that another person may not be as fortunate as you are in the pocket department, just knowing that they may be capable of paying a fraction but still apprehensive says alot. If funds are limited, why not live within your means?