I was on the treadmill this morning trying to burn calories, trying to make my heart stronger so I can live longer. I do a lot of thinking on the treadmill. Today I thought about you. I couldn’t help myself. I don’t know why you came to mind. The thought of you crept in my head but I hoped to rid my mind of the thought. I adjusted to speed just a little higher so I can fall on my ass and forget my thoughts of you. That didn’t work at all. You kept knocking me over in my head as my legs did their best to stay balanced.

I thought about the last time I saw you. Do you remember that? We were both in the same room. Actually, I got there first. I said hello to all the people I haven’t seen in a while, people from my childhood. “My my my… Look how grown you look,” they said. I know they wanted to pinch me to see if I was real but you know I wasn’t going to let them do all that. I get a little shy when I get any type of attention. But you wouldn’t know about that.

I made my round around the room and as I approached a seat to finally take a load off here you come. You walked in the room, well dressed, I might add. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look like that before. I’ve only seen you in rags. I know it was a reflection of your profession. Not clear on what that is. You were always good with your hands. That much I remember. Fixing locks, moving stuff around, making things… Those are the times I remember.

I know she invited you. She knows I don’t care for you. I wonder if she told you that. I’m not sure but I see you walking into the space. She, having a smile on her face, walks up to you. My family looks at me. I look away. I look at you hoping you don’t notice me, wondering if you will speak. You don’t. You don’t speak. I’m not worth a hello. Not even a head nod. You know how we folk do. Give you that knowing glance. I see you. I acknowledge your presence. I didn’t get that. Not one bit of it. Nothing. Flat out nothing. I’m not surprised. I never got anything from you. Not that I asked. You know but it is what it is… I’m grown. You’re grown. But I thought you’d be a better man than that. Oh well… She’s happy. Today is about her.

Hours go by and you sit in that same chair, alone. I sit in my chair, across from you, wondering if you feel out of place. You look out of place. No one in this room cares for you, but her. Today is her day. My cousin walked up on me… She asked if I was OK. She asked if you had spoke. I told her “you know he didn’t speak to me. That is a silly question. That man is a child.

You’re a kid and a liar. You know that’s how I see you? Are you aware? Do you even care?

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