Comments on: Finding Love in the Big City, Part IX: A New Outlook Courtesy of an Old Soul http://blog.urbanobservation.com/2008/01/23/finding-love-in-the-big-city-part-ix-a-new-outlook-courtesy-of-an-old-soul/ Sun, 07 Sep 2008 02:51:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Ms. Q http://blog.urbanobservation.com/2008/01/23/finding-love-in-the-big-city-part-ix-a-new-outlook-courtesy-of-an-old-soul/#comment-5143 Ms. Q Tue, 29 Jan 2008 04:09:51 +0000 http://blog.urbanobservation.com/2008/01/23/finding-love-in-the-big-city-part-ix-a-new-outlook-courtesy-of-an-old-soul/#comment-5143 OP: I think they wait until the last minute because they are still not quite sure if they really have changed their mind and part of them hopes that things work out. It's a bit of a lose-lose proposition for a friend to say to another friend, "Uh, I don't really like that guy you're so crazy about.." because they may lose your friendship or maybe they just won't share anything with you. If they tell you at the end or the last minute, the outcome is already known. OP: I think they wait until the last minute because they are still not quite sure if they really have changed their mind and part of them hopes that things work out.

It’s a bit of a lose-lose proposition for a friend to say to another friend, “Uh, I don’t really like that guy you’re so crazy about..” because they may lose your friendship or maybe they just won’t share anything with you.

If they tell you at the end or the last minute, the outcome is already known.

]]> By: The Orange Phoenix http://blog.urbanobservation.com/2008/01/23/finding-love-in-the-big-city-part-ix-a-new-outlook-courtesy-of-an-old-soul/#comment-5120 The Orange Phoenix Mon, 28 Jan 2008 02:30:07 +0000 http://blog.urbanobservation.com/2008/01/23/finding-love-in-the-big-city-part-ix-a-new-outlook-courtesy-of-an-old-soul/#comment-5120 why is it they wait until the last moment to say something? why is it they wait until the last moment to say something?

]]> By: Ms. Q http://blog.urbanobservation.com/2008/01/23/finding-love-in-the-big-city-part-ix-a-new-outlook-courtesy-of-an-old-soul/#comment-5109 Ms. Q Sun, 27 Jan 2008 19:15:28 +0000 http://blog.urbanobservation.com/2008/01/23/finding-love-in-the-big-city-part-ix-a-new-outlook-courtesy-of-an-old-soul/#comment-5109 People think telling you they never liked the person you were with is being supportive. Unfortunately this isn't the case! I've learned to refrain from commenting on the EX - if they want to bash, let 'em bash but I'm not going to say anything unless I'm sure the emotional coast is clear! My dad used to want me to date only Chinese guys and specifically from some region he knew about! Now he doesn't quite sigh but he mentions how my younger cousins have gotten married. Hmmm. Now he's gotten to the point of anything goes when it comes to dating..leading to marriage of course! This might be where your mom and grandmother are coming from ... desperation is coloring (no pun intended) their acceptance of other races. Up to you to date outside your race. If you're not attracted to non-Blacks who cares. I've never had an Asian boyfriend. "What are the cues that signal attraction?" Do different races in the US have different signals? I can understand there being differences outside of the country but differences between races? Then again, maybe a NY Black man might indicate his interest differently than say, an Atlanta Black man and both would be different than a Japanese man from Colorado. Overall, I think that if men are attracted to you, THEY WILL LOOK FOR WAYS to get their message across to you! Personally, I need things spelled out. I don't think of myself as some femme fatale so men have had to resort to saying, "I'm find you attractive." Me: Oh. Thanks! How nice of you to say! Man: SEXUALLY attractive. Me. Oooohhhh. People think telling you they never liked the person you were with is being supportive. Unfortunately this isn’t the case! I’ve learned to refrain from commenting on the EX - if they want to bash, let ‘em bash but I’m not going to say anything unless I’m sure the emotional coast is clear!

My dad used to want me to date only Chinese guys and specifically from some region he knew about! Now he doesn’t quite sigh but he mentions how my younger cousins have gotten married. Hmmm.

Now he’s gotten to the point of anything goes when it comes to dating..leading to marriage of course! This might be where your mom and grandmother are coming from … desperation is coloring (no pun intended) their acceptance of other races.

Up to you to date outside your race. If you’re not attracted to non-Blacks who cares. I’ve never had an Asian boyfriend.

“What are the cues that signal attraction?”

Do different races in the US have different signals? I can understand there being differences outside of the country but differences between races?

Then again, maybe a NY Black man might indicate his interest differently than say, an Atlanta Black man and both would be different than a Japanese man from Colorado.

Overall, I think that if men are attracted to you, THEY WILL LOOK FOR WAYS to get their message across to you!

Personally, I need things spelled out. I don’t think of myself as some femme fatale so men have had to resort to saying, “I’m find you attractive.”

Me: Oh. Thanks! How nice of you to say!

Man: SEXUALLY attractive.

Me. Oooohhhh.

]]> By: Urban Thought http://blog.urbanobservation.com/2008/01/23/finding-love-in-the-big-city-part-ix-a-new-outlook-courtesy-of-an-old-soul/#comment-5094 Urban Thought Sat, 26 Jan 2008 23:07:59 +0000 http://blog.urbanobservation.com/2008/01/23/finding-love-in-the-big-city-part-ix-a-new-outlook-courtesy-of-an-old-soul/#comment-5094 Go for it. Date someone outside of black folk. I'm going to tell you now: It is fun. It is exciting and you'll learn a lot doing so. Think outside the box. You may find that those other than black will appreciate the natural you. BTW, You are hard headed. Family and Friends no a loser when they see one. He wasn't worth your time. But you live and learn. Go for it. Date someone outside of black folk. I’m going to tell you now: It is fun. It is exciting and you’ll learn a lot doing so. Think outside the box. You may find that those other than black will appreciate the natural you.

BTW, You are hard headed. Family and Friends no a loser when they see one. He wasn’t worth your time. But you live and learn.

]]> By: Ricardo http://blog.urbanobservation.com/2008/01/23/finding-love-in-the-big-city-part-ix-a-new-outlook-courtesy-of-an-old-soul/#comment-5054 Ricardo Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:39:07 +0000 http://blog.urbanobservation.com/2008/01/23/finding-love-in-the-big-city-part-ix-a-new-outlook-courtesy-of-an-old-soul/#comment-5054 OP it's a big world out there and there is fun and romance to be had in all colors. Go with what you feel. The journey will be worth it. I had a laugh about your family knowing all along about the guy being bad news but not saying anything. I think they might have worried that if they said something negative you might want him more. I've seen this happen. OP it’s a big world out there and there is fun and romance to be had in all colors. Go with what you feel. The journey will be worth it.

I had a laugh about your family knowing all along about the guy being bad news but not saying anything. I think they might have worried that if they said something negative you might want him more. I’ve seen this happen.

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