The Orange Phoenix | 9 Observations 
So it is two days out from the celebration of the new year; when I should be concerned with finding a cute outfit for New Years Eve, I am slapped with reality - getting dumped - yes that’s right - DUMPED.
Since I finally passed the blubbering stage (all of two hours ago), I am now sane enough to reflect back on the good, bad and ugly of my newest ex. They say, “I don’t know who ‘they’ is…” that a break up doesn’t usually come out of the blue, there are usually signs that reveal themselves over time… well yours truly must have missed ALL of them as I was quite sure that my May/December relationship was going to work out - I was so sure that I even allowed him to meet my mother - OY what a big mistake.
Setting The Scene:
So I notice that Mr. December is beginning to pull away a bit - not calling as much, mysterious with confirming dates. So what’s a girl to do? I call him on that shit. I ask him what’s going on and if he’s starting to see other people and if he is to be honest. So he denies it. I ask a second time as I had that weird feeling that I wasn’t alone (sort of like finding out that there may be extraterrestrials hiding out in the desert sands of Arizona) and he denies it a second time, so I take him on his word and let it be. I do send him a note asking for us to talk and figure out where this relationship is 
going and boy do I get my answer. . .
Round Twelve
Boy I’ve never seen that much ducking and dodging since Muhammad Ali vs. George Foreman (him Ali, me George). All the while, I didn’t know that this asshole was playing rope-a-dope. So I ask him to let me know where he stands, and like Foreman, I think his ducking and dodging is a sign of weakness, I am slammed with reality - the ever so famous line that men hate to hear said was dropped on me like the Ali shuffle: ” You know, I’ve been thinking, I truly love you, (I’m on the ropes) but I think it would be better (here comes the blow) if we were just friends (ooh - body shot). I treasure your company (jab to the right eye) and friendship (jab to the left) so much that I’d hate to ruin it by not giving you the proper love and attention that you deserve (ooh, she took that one to the chin folks), so I think it would be better if we were just friends (and she’s DOWN!) and we can be friends with benefits (LOW BLOW, LOW BLOW!!) If you were only 40, you’d be perfect (Damn, kick a heifer while she’s down why don’t you?!)”
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I do my absolute damnedest to not cry in his presence. He continues to ramble on about how we can be friends and concentrate on our friendship and then come back to the romantic part when we have had a chance to be more solid. At that point I start tuning him out as he sounds like the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons - all sounds and no real language involved. All I can think about is getting out of that house and going home to my couch and crying my eyes out. It takes everything in my being to not fall apart as I think that he was looking for me to do so. As I was leaving, I said to him “Since we aren’t together anymore you can go back to your ol’ player ways without anybody in your way. With sick glee he responded back, “I never stopped.”
Damn - not only does this muthafucker kick a girl whileshe’s down, but then pulls a final Mortal Kombat move out of his pocket - ripout your defeated opponent’s heart and then force them to eat it - just ice cold.
Here I am - quite battered and bruised - George Foreman with my head in my hands wondering, “Why didn’t I see that coming?”
Well, what lesson can I gather from all of this? Go home, lick my wounds and figure out how to create my version of the George Foreman grill and like mighty George, KNOW that I will get the last laugh - 749,994 more to go.
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Tags: Finding Love
I cannot believe what I’m reading right now. This is crazy. But at the same time I have to say you can do better than him. Someone who is that insensitive needs to not be in your life.
Why is truth often more unbelievable than fiction? Who knows what the future will bring - Off to the clubs.
What a dick!
I went thru a similiar break up….I asked him if he was seeing someone else, just be honest, blah blah blah. He denied it, blah blah blah. Then I started really looking for those signs…and they were all there. When I had my “Rumble In The Jungle” he finally admitted it, and HIS parting statement was “I’m a man”–like that explained everything.
I couldn’t believe he said something so cold and cruel. But that’s the point of why I am taking the time to relay this to you. Anyone who can consciously be that huge of a dick to you is someone you need as far away from you as possible. And guess what? Tho I was crushed then, if I was in the same situation I wouldn’t even date him now…I can see now that there are so many others that are more aligned with the way I think, and the things I need.
Plus that dumbass you’re speaking of forgot the cardinal rule of New York…you NEVER break up with someone in the Winter, you wait until Spring, ya stupid sh–t!
Add lack of etiquette to the reasons why you need to let that loser go. Stay strong and good luck… 
Thanks for the kind words invisiblewoman -
I didn’t know there was a rule about when to break-up. I always thought it was “best” to do the dirty deed before Christmas and Valentine’s Day so you don’t have to give a gift.
That is what you call a cheap f*ck
Yeah, that dude you were with is probably that too by the way it sounds, lol!
Someone I used to date when I lived in New York said you don’t break up in the Winter in NY cause it’s too cold to be trolling around looking for someone new. You just stay warm with the person you’re with, and break out in Spring when it’s warm enough to start looking again….I thought that was funny!
I was with that dude for 6 years, and yes, he did cheat a couple times, but at least he was honest about it, and strangely, despite that, he really was a good guy. Go figure–relationships are so layered.
Awww…I really feel for you! I too had hopes for this guy. There is no easy way to break up with anyone and he was sounding mostly OK until the FWB part and just awful at that “never stopped” part.
DANG. I’m with invisiblewoman on honesty - there is something to be said for a guy that is upfront about the wrongs that he does. Mr. December went out of his way to hurt you with that last comment and wow, how rough for you to lose someone you love and then find out they are not at all the wonderful person you thought they were. Double whammy!
You are very observant. If you didn’t see it coming, he was very good at hiding things.
2007 was a very odd year - I heard of lots of endings and heartbreak. I also went through heartache. I think 2008 is when REAL love arrives. When you’re ready, maybe you should follow my mom’s advice - date YOUNGER men. ‘Course, you’re younger than I am (I’m gonna be 43) so dating younger might be too young but…ya never know.
I feel for you.
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