The Mask

By on December 20, 2007 @ 12:21 pm

“The things we conceal under the mask will one day cause us to breakdown, for the mask only covers up the person you really are.” – Dan-Sean Mankind

This┬ápost is dedicated to some very good friends of mine. You know who you are… R.I.P Spark

I was once dependant upon this mask I used to wear to hide my true feelings. I dealt with hurt and pain everyday for 25 years since the age of four. During the course of my days, I would be mentally burned out, constantly in thought, contemplating ways to kill myself or to run away. This all taking place while in school, at the after school programs, at the baby sitter, at family’s house, wherever. Now, being the human being I was and with my mask always handy, I managed to smile at times to conceal the pain I felt. I still managed to play hard and joke with people to appear to be semi-normal. When I wasn’t being the class clown or being bullied by someone who thought I was a sucker for being “different”, MaskI was fighting in attempts to get my frustration out, being quiet and deep in thought, or trying to help someone become a better student. I wore my mask so good, that my own mother whom I lived in the same house with off and on for years didn’t even know what I went through.

We sometimes have so much going on in our lives that we don’t want others to know about what we are concealing under the mask. There are so many others around us who never see that something really is troubling us, because it is easy to get wrapped up into self. I guess that is why I am so drawn to people who go through drastic measures to get their life back so to speak. I feel like the comforter. I have experience with pain first hand and from such a young age so it’s easy to help someone else out who feels what I may feel or once felt.

Once you start removing the mask, things will feel weird at first because you have been conditioned to wear it, but you have to come to the realization that the mask only worsens the pain you feel. The mask makes it harder to get over what you are going through. Give God the pain you feel and allow him to show you that you can go on with your life. And always remember, we cannot go through these things alone. Cry if u have to cry, that is the reason you have tear ducts. Crying does not declare you weak. Venting or talking things out doesn’t mean you are rambling. It helps you to let the bad energy out. The bad energy you hold inside causes you nightmares and indeed makes you ill. Feeling guilty also makes you have nightmares and causes you to be ill because you blame yourself for what you have gone through.


Much love goes out to everyone this blog does or does not touch, and as always, stay blessed!

Categories: Observation

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Urban Thought December 31, 2007

You aren’t alone. Your words are inspiring and ‘comforting.’

Glad you’ve come so far and have grown into the wonderful person you are.

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