The Orange Phoenix | 7 Observations 
After a long hiatus, dear readers, OP (Orange Phoenix) has stumbled upon yet another epiphany on this dating thing.
So just a general question, how long does one give a potential partner to cut ties with his ex’s? Is it three months, a couple of weeks after the two people decide that they are going to exclusively date or do the Ex’s-turn-friends remain in the picture while the other gnashes their teeth in frustration?
So there is a major difference between me and my boyfriend (wow - I actually said it out loud) - he just happens to be considerably older than I am - at least 20 years older! The fact that I am dating someone that is actually older than my mother by a few years) is insane, but what does Aaliyah say “Age ain’t nuthin but a number” (Well she was 14 when she said it…). It’s true, after the initial shock and occasional stares in the street, the common denominator is that I actually care about him and love him as a man and not as a father figure, so the rest should be fine right…
The next lesson I have learned is with anyone you date, their actual dating history begins to come into play and either consciously or not you begin to evaluate your potential partner by the many skeletons laid by the wayside. It’s a woman’s way to always think, well I’m special and that won’t happen to me… mmmm… wrong. And in my case, he has a literal cemetery at his disposal, some of them attempting to play the “Night of the Living Dead” game and resurrect to wreak havoc (”Hi baby, I just got a divorce and I want to see what you’re up to” or the ever popular “After so much soul-searching, I realized that I shouldn’t have left you). There was the costumer, the wig girl, the dancer, the physical therapist, the lawyer, the actress, the millionairess with the crazy-ass dog-child, along with others; those that he might have proposed to and didn’t go through with it, those that he cheated on and found out and those that didn’t and the ever popular F-buddies. Okay… what is a “good” girl to do besides pick a machete and hack these heifers to bits… Yes I said machete - I am Caribbean after all.
Stay tuned to the 6 o’ clock news just in case you see a random crazy woman wielding a machete with deft skill. 
| 2.5 |
Tags: Finding Love
That’s a difficult question. Depends on the ex! It’s one thing if the ex and your boyfriend share a child - what can you do. But if the ex is always asking for emotional support? Nggggh. Not so sure about that.
So far I haven’t had any “Return of the EX part 357″ - when I have had “return of the ex” it was early stages yet and if the guy had any doubts, I thought it best to go back and figure things out.
When it comes to the exes I would think that it’s up to your boyfriend to make you feel at ease. Even if you trust him, some people get sucked into the emotional vortexes of their exes. If this is happening on a regular basis, maybe it’s time to discuss your feelings. Sans machete!
Hi Ms. Q.
Thanks for the reply, but life with a machete seems more interesting. . .
The Orange Pheonix: Don’t get locked up over some man. That is the worst. Most woman in prison are in lock up because of men. A good woman like you needs to be out and ready to love.
Urban has it right. Machetes may be interesting (and I’m taking you mean it metaphorically as you seem to be a woman with a sense of humor!!) but who needs drama in a relationship? Who wants a soap opera? Who wants a mug shot? Not me!
I believe in working things out but if I feel bad about myself in a relationship or if I feel that I am not growing or if I have to lie to myself in a relationship, it’s time to leave. Doesn’t even mean that the guy is bad - just that they are bad for me in some way. Same with friendships.
I hope you can talk it out!
And if you cannot talk it out then “walk it out.”
Actually, given that dude is cut from the same cloth as I am and I know you to be a sensable, loving individual, I know it (obstacles, challenges, frustrations) can be worked out.
Drat! You mean we don’t get an actual ANSWER on the ex thing?!?!?!?! I was hoping I was going to read a definitive amount of time…
I sort of prefer to know as little as possible about a guy’s exes as far as what kind of contact he has with them. Seems like there’s so little you can really do - forbidding someone contact with someone else doesn’t seem right & short of that what is there? Seems like your guys exes are a little too intrusive for my preferred route of total denial though!
And then there are the exes that *I’m* friends with…really, I was hoping for explicit instructions!
KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (But a little bit not kidding!)
I wish I had the answer to this pithy question, watching my mistakes and triumphs is part of the fun though. . .