Everyday Strangers
By Urban Thought on October 25, 2007 @ 3:59 pm
I love New York and all that it is. Growing up in NYC isn’t for everyone but it damn sure is for me. Riding the train this morning, in a packed subway car I realized that morning routines can be so solemn. You have a bunch of strangers standing or swaying to the rhythm of the train ride. On a good day, there will be mostly silence (outside of the transient happenings at each stop and the barely audible conductor announcing where you are and what’s next.)
My high school years had me leaving home at the same time every day. This led me to get to the train station at the same time, every day. In turn, I would catch the same 7:23 am train each morning.
Many people had the same routine. So it was only fitting to find that you sat in the same car, in the same seat, with the same people each morning. High School was four years long. I sat on the train with pretty much the same people for those four years.
There is this one woman who would sit adjacent to me each morning. I knew what stop she got on. I knew what stop she got off. Some days she didn’t look up to going to work. Her fatigue often showed as she would doze off during the train ride. On some occasions, she would find herself missing stops. Often I wanted to reach out to her and wake her up. I’ve learned never to wake people when they are sleep, especially on trains.
I would wonder later how her day went. If her boss gave her a hard time about being late Or maybe she was right on time, leaving a buffer for situations such as this.
Four years, I would sit on the train with this woman. Through the four years we never exchanged pleasantries. Not a head nod, not a hello, not a wave.
Life in NY is strange that way sometimes. You can see the same stranger every day and do not think twice to say hello.
Related Posts (automatically generated)
Trackbacks & Pingbacks
- Pingback by QMusings » Blog Archive » Talking With Strangers on November 13, 2007 @ 3:48 pm
Wow! That was quite poignant.
This was very true! Though these are your words, I shared the same exact sentiments. It is strange though, how we can be so close to other strangers and never whisper a word to them or them us. NYC is like that and being as though I’m living in PA, it’s so different in the way that people who don’t know one another speak all the time in passing. Thanks for sharing your experience! It was very enlightening!!!
It usually takes me a while to say hi to strangers I encounter regularly. But I’ve begun to change that a bit. Maybe it’s because I’m seeing these elderly folks on my walks and I have a soft spot for active elderly folk!
So now I chat with this vibrant 85 year old woman who lives in a nearby care facility. She looks 65! I also walk with 2 guys who I had NO IDEA were elderly. One is 65 but looks 58. The other guy I have no idea how old he is but the “younger guy” jokes that the “Older guy” is Up there. Both pump iron and the older guy has been married 46 years! It’s fun to not know how old he is but I’m thinking…low 80s! Freaky! We’ll walk 6 or 7 miles together around the lake and we’re quite a sight! I’m this tiny Chinese woman bookended by 2 older black guys!
We don’t really get any looks since my area is people potpourri but one time this older Chinese guy gave the 3 of us a looooong look.
How did I end up with them? It was a gorgeous day, I said hi to them and when I saw them again the next day I introduced myself and the rest…is history. Very cool guys.
For whatever reason I talk to “strangers” all the times these days.
Speaking about buses, the younger guy used to be a bus driver and he said he got to know all his regulars and during the holidays the dashboard of his bus would have all these cards and the riders would give him gifts. His fellow drivers wondered how he did it. He said he just got to know people.
The more you look at people at see them, the more they reveal. It’s too bad when people feel like they have to contain themselves. I used to have to take the bus regularly and most of the time it was “Shields UP!”
It is amazing how each face on the subway tells such a story that is never really told. It’s more pronounced in places the subway as well. I’ve noticed that when I’ve rode it.
The Orange Phoenix: Thank you.
Ms. Q: It’s funny how we connect with people who don’t necessarily fit into our usual mold. I actually enjoy being around an eclectic bunch of people who on the surface have nothing in common. From the outside looking in I wouldn’t mind those folks saying “that is just the oddest couple” or “that is the oddest looking group of people.”
Your personality attracts the goodness in folks.
Ricardo: You are so right. I day dream sometimes as I am on the train. Often staring at someone not knowing as I’m wondering what their story is.
I have to remind myself to get a book to read or utilize my Blackberry so people don’t feel the need to punch me in the eye.
People are violent when they feel you are looking at them the wrong way. Did I go off topic? LOL
You certainly changed the look of your blog! It does have a fresh clean upbeat look and quite a bit different than the darker “urban decay” look which I thought fit in with your observations of city life.
I like what you’re “about” - seeing the good in all things! I was a bit disoriented when I first checked in.
“Your personality attracts the goodness in folks.”
Thanks! I really appreciate that. I was able to get together when “the boys” the other day - they were teasing me that I had forgotten all about them being on the road and all. The married guy is Mr. Smoooooth - he sneaks in a kiss on the cheek which the younger guy had never noticed until I pointed it out!
They’re good guys and they are always saying hi to the other “regulars” around the lake - all ages, all races. Goes to show you, right?
I like seeing groups of “the oddest people” - my friends in South Africa are welcoming and they have a very eclectic group of friends. I love that!