Urban Thought | 17 Observations With the guidance of mom, I was able to grow up in an environment of diversity. Yes, I stayed in what would be called the hood. The area consisted of the working poor, the bummy poor, and the poor souls that just couldn’t catch a break.
My mother knew better then to allow me to grow up without knowing what was going on outside of this poor area of a neighborhood we called home. So off I went to stay with the people of a lighter hue (white people of the Jewish persuasion). This wasn’t a permanent situation. It was an opportunity that was exercised on the weekends to get me away from the hoodish environment that seemed to imprison the minds of many around me (like one cousin I won’t name).
Over the course of my tenure with the Jewish family, I started to understand certain customs and participate in a lot of 
their holiday activities (I can sing a few Jewish Holiday songs at the drop of a hat). Along with this were the outings to museums, recreational areas and other places that a car could possibly travel to. It was a great experience. Through these weekend journeys one thing was certain, I would changed (and grow).
My English transformed into something other than it once was. I started to utilize words that people in the hood would frown upon and look at with the screw face. As if they needed captions or subtitles to understand what was coming out of my mouth but were to afraid to admit it so much that they’d get pissed and want to hit you rather than ask, “What does that word mean?” I liked my new experiences and all they had to offer.
There was a downside to my new adventures out the hood. Being picked on and being called names such as ‘whitewashed’ were becoming more common place. I wasn’t aware of what the term ‘whitewashed’ meant at the time but I knew it wasn’t something I would want to wear as a badge.
Trying to figure out where I fit was my new adventure. I would no longer hang out with anyone in my neighborhood. I felt more comfortable outside of my living space than in it. Everyone had the perception that I thought I was better than them. I never felt that way. How can I be better than you when we all live in the same environment? So I felt the concept to be off base. What I felt was different. I wasn’t into the hood activities (not saying all of the activities were hood but at the time they played things I didn’t see outside of it). I liked mountain climbing (we had no mountains in the PJ’s). They liked basketball, I liked playing Tennis. I enjoyed camping and going to the lake, while they played outside with the Johnny Pump.
Life was great and enjoyable, a whole lot different than before my weekend excursions.
At one point, I thought perhaps I was born in the wrong skin as people started to call me ‘Oreo.’ Asking myself are the activities I enjoy built for white folk only? But I didn’t mind being deep, dark chocolate colored and doing what were considering white things to do.
Being an adult you realize activities have no color. Anyone can do them. I wouldn’t mind jumping out of plane with a parachute on my back. Some people just don’t act or think outside the box that they have allowed themselves to be confined to. Walk across the street one day. You’ll realize that there is more to life than the little corner of your world.
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“Being an adult you realize activities have no color. Anyone can do them.”
exactly. fortunately, you were given the opportunity to step outside the box and experience things your neighbors never envisioned (and perhaps still haven’t).
Experience is what keeps the name calling to a minimum and the crab barrel tactics to a crawl. How are the ones that called you names doing these days?
Wow! You are so right……a lot of people need to ‘walk across the street’. Sounds like you have some thick skin & are doing very well
My best friend in grade school was this Jewish girl. I had no idea she was Jewish, I mean, not on any she-different-because-she’s-Jewish level. She told me about the Menorah and I knew how to sing that dreidel song.
I was raised and very ethnically diverse part of the country so I experienced little prejudice either personally or in observation. My parents certainly didn’t dissuade me from making friends with all different types of people.
Children learn their prejudices from their parents.
I’ve read how many of the poor subcultures (Hispanic, Black, Mexican, etc) disparage their peers who want to improve themselves by accusing them of wanting to “be white” or that they were “white inside.”
Interesting. So “White = wanting to be successful”?
If that is the case, who wouldn’t want to be “white”?
It’s too bad that people tend to be envious of people who succeed instead of being inspired. How people long for angels to fall and how we also love the come-back story!
Your mom sounds incredible. I’d love to learn how she came to be the person she is!
Speaking about Oreos, I wrote something about them a while ago myself:
http://qmusings.com/blog/2007/03/30/were-not-bananas-crackers-or-oreos/
dcsavvy: FoSho! I’m fortunate to have experienced the life I have. (of course there are some things I would have liked to do without)
As for the hood rates; Not sure exactly but from what my cousin tells me they are still in the hood playing hood games.
Paula D: Thick skin? Yeah, I do. It works to my advantage, at times.
Ms. Q: You know the dreidel song too? Did you have one made out of clay? The Jews I mentioned used to make their’s out of soap. They carved the characters on each side with a carving knife.
You’ve had a wonderful and interesting childhood from what I continue to learn about you.
To be successful and Black is often associated with being a sellout. Quite an unfortunate concept.
Learning about my mother is a task within itself. She is like me, keeping everything to herself, not letting people in. She shows me a glimpse of her every once in a while.
I read your post… very funny.
I can’t quite remember the dreidel song, just the first bit, “Dreidel-dreidel-dreidel I made you la-la-la” but the tune is still kinda-sorta there. I mean, I can hum it! I never made one but I remember spinning the dreidel/top and I thought the story of the Menorah and hiding (?) in a cave for 8 days was a much better story than Santa Claus.
Yeah, I guess I did have well, some wonderful bits, certainly many interesting bits to my childhood.
Too bad about your mom. My mom lets it all hang out. Maybe you can ask your mom if she has a blog
Does she know you have one?
Glad you laughed at the post. I think I figured out what type of “food” I am: a peppermint Altoid - small and “curiously strong”
I found the Dreidel song. Yeah, that cave thing was a hoot along with the long and the oil. At least those are the details of the story I remember. Not sure how much truth is in any of it as I was not there. I question all holidays and what they are based on.
I’m not sure if she is aware of my blog. But I did leave a few files on my old computer which she is now in possession of. If she takes time to look through the computer she’ll figure it out. She might not tell me though… read it in secret.
I’ve been called a couple of food items before. I think I’ll put something together for next week.
Can I say how touched I was by this article! I was raised very similarly - every summer, I would go to summer programs in Mass, going canoeing or hiking or just learning new things outside of what the hood could teach me.
Ah the memories. . .
Being a result of Transracial adoption I was enlightened by your post
Thank you
Recently I’ve been called a banana, because according to my friends I grew up with, I’m now living the white life. Ugh… So I know exactly what you mean.
This is a very good article, definitely one of your best. I also learned a few things about you that I never knew before. Hmmmm.
The Orange Phoenix: I’m not surprised that you have taken on those activities. You always live outside the box, exploring new things and taking life to the next level. Yes… Memories… They don’t live like people do (you know that song?).
MsRebecca: You’re welcome.
Christian: The white life? So owning property is white? And renting an apartment is Asian? Black? Hispanic? Poor? I have a few words for your friends the next time I see them.
Hmmm… There is more to UT than what you’ve seen… Coming soon… LOL
what a great post. I am a white Jewish girl, I love that you can sing a Hebrew tune!
I think you are so strong and smart as a direct result of your upbringing.
I found out something new about Christian! I had no idea he was Asian. Or so I’m guessing since I was called a banana and I’m Chinese. And he owns property? I am totally missing out on something here - I don’t recall reading this in his blog…
I wonder how many non-Jewish folk can sing the Dreidel song!
Meleah: Thank you. I’m not as strong as I’d like to be but it is a work in progress.
Ms. Q: Yeah, Chris is of the Asian Persuasion. I didn’t mean to tell his business about the property. But I’m sure he will blog about it soon enough. (I’m guessing based on the post I saw in his blog)
OY! That young man’s got some chutzpah. You, me and Meleah should bust out the hebrew songs and sing them together on an album. Then again maybe we shouldn’t for the greater good of humanity.
It’s great that you had the chance to see diversity and get exposed to all sorts of new things growing up. I grew up in mostly white communities so there is some resentment among other latinos that I meet for not “keeping it real.” But I’m not sure what that is. It’s much like what Christian is facing. Doing well and having a vocabulary is not turning your back to anyone. It’s just making you better from the ground up.
That’s awesome
You got to experience a whole different culture and take it with you the rest of your life. It’s true with the point you made at the end about being an adult. After my first year at college I realized many stereotypes and whatnot didn’t exist and nothing really mattered except who you are and what you’re doing.
[...] called me a Part Time black man as if my color comes off during off hours. You called me an Oreo as if my skin could twist off and reveal a blue eyed blond white [...]
Amen to that! I grew up in the PJ’s as you know and my mom did the best she could to show us a better world outside of the hood. If she wanted to take us to the beach, while everyone enjoyed going to the pool or Coney Island beach, we traveled on a train and 2 buses just to go to Riis Beach in Queens. We didn’t have a car, but that didn’t stop us. I was looked down upon by others also because I did things as a child like walk through the White House and go to Disney World. I loved the museums and the planetariums just as much as I loved playing Spy tech and 7-11. I was very articulate and many people considered me an outsider even though I played all the games they did and talked the talk. They felt I thought I was better also because I got to see another side of the fence. I had to fight back for my respect. It kind of scarred me in a way to be frowned upon so, but I understand now the nature of people’s actions. I highly stress that folks take the time to think and walk outside of the box that they’ve conformed themselves to. Excellent post BRO!